Coward

The Call this month was definitely a little different. I really enjoyed the activities we did in the beginning; We had a bunch of laughs and the third toilet paper activity was a good way to start things off. But after we split into groups of boys and girls, that was when things were getting really hard for me. We were supposed to go deep, not talking about surface level things, like “Oh, I have family problems” or “Yeah, school is really stressing me out.” Everyone talked about their deepest secrets, their most shameful sins.. Except for me. As each person in the circle spilled the truth, tears streamed down my face. Funny thing though, I don’t really know why I was crying. Was I shocked of what they said? In awe of the boldness and courage? Or was I just scared of spilling the truth myself? I guess it was a combination of the three. When it was my turn to talk, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I just wept and apologized. It was so pathetic of me. I’m a coward. I’m afraid of the judgment. Afraid of the negative change that will occur. I love everyone at GPC. I already know this. But after The Call, I re-realized how much I really love these people. I had an amazing time just being with them after the prayer meeting. I felt like I was at home. All the laughs we share, the things we say to each other, all of the moments we have. I don’t want to lose them. I really don’t.